我是個常常感到有些落寞的人。自己的性格使然。大多的時候，我喜歡安靜，喜歡一個人獨自漫步，在靜寂的地方，緩緩地，沒有目的地行走，也會偶爾停下來，看看周圍細微的變動：微風輕拂，瘦小的樹木搖晃著自己的身影，鳥雀斜斜地掠過去，我能從其中感受到異樣的美。那時，內心充盈的是一種竊喜混雜著無聊的古怪的感覺。但是，我喜歡這樣的狀態。一個人，自己的身體和心靈都是自由的，可以想起以往的歲月裡那些瑣碎但是讓人溫暖的事情，於是，由衷地為自己笑一笑；也可以想起那些曾經讓自己的心情悲涼過的人或者事情，讓心緒為之有些微微的憤懣。當然，我的大多時候的心情是平靜的，任憑著微風在耳畔低語，遠處的喧鬧傳過來，卻神情恬然，自顧自地緩緩獨步。

有時，會在陽光充沛、或者樹陰濃密的地方坐下來，打開自己隨身攜帶的喜歡的書，興味盎然地品讀。在很多人的眼裡，我是一個極為內斂地近乎沒有感情波動的人，其實，那隻是因為經歷的頗多的事情，懂得了隱藏。如此而已。其實，我是一個極易被感動的人。那些虛構或者不是虛構的故事，有的會讓我感動地天蹦地裂，有的則讓我悲涼的一塌糊塗。一個人的時候，感情是不必掩飾的，會飛揚起來，有一種展翅飛翔的快感，這是，我總會想起初次閱讀顧城的那種輕盈的神秘；有時會產生那種凝重的飢餓般的虛空，疲憊而累，整個的心像剛落滿了雪的茫茫大地。錢鍾書的《圍城》，是一本我捧著肚子讀完的小說。先生的刻毒的幽默詼諧，把一個個可笑的人物鞭撻地入木三分。笑過之後，我生怕自己也如這些卑微而淺薄的靈魂。我也喜歡安妮寶貝，喜歡她妖艷背後的悲傷。她的文字寫出了一群人隱藏在深處的情感。重複的服飾，重複的情感，往往只是換個背景。透過她的故事，我彷佛觸摸到她的靈魂，也知道了她內心一些隱秘的東西。度她的作品，總會有一種哀哀的感傷，長久的低迷，但是，我想，人生是需要這種刺痛和失落的。用郭敬明的話說，就是，這讓我知道了我不是一個麻木的人。對我自己而言，就是可以擊碎別人對我的片面的評價。

我常常會寫一些文字。也許，因為我是從鄉下走出來吧，父母都是那種樸實的人，我寫不出我嚮往的那種艷麗，只能寫些凝重的透漏著鄉土氣息的人或者事情。我寫過自己的父親母親、外公外婆、伯母伯母，還有別人讓我感受過溫情的人。我是一個有著強烈的悲劇意識的人，我筆下的文字總是讓人感受到一種哀傷。一個同樣喜歡寫作的朋友對我說，讀你的文字，總讓人有種如履薄冰的感覺，生怕會撞壞其中一處。她的話，讓我想起了我寫給外公的那片祭文，我用極為哀傷的口吻回憶外公一生的遭遇，後來，拿給目睹了他的那些經歷的親戚看，有人竟然失聲慟哭，不能卒讀。所以，我輕易不拿那些文字給別人閱讀。以前，總希望自己寫的文字能夠被很多的喜歡認可，但是，隨著年齡的增長，這樣的想法反而淡漠了，還會寫，但是，只是寫給朋友，不是寫給“讀者”。有一次，跟朋友談起我現在的寫作目的，居然感動不已。她說“你悠然而幸福”。我笑了笑，說：“這和自然。”張越在一封字數寥寥的電子信件中對我說的一句話：寫作先是自娛，然後才是娛人；以這個為底線，才能從文字中得到滿足和幸福。我很欣賞這句話。
　
你可不要以為我的性格只有這樣憂傷的一面，其實，在心情飛揚的時候，我會換一種姿態切入生活。好孩子是不會撒謊的，真的，你應該相信我。

我會和自己喜歡在一起的人漫無邊際的閒聊。都是些極其瑣碎的話題。會談及爸爸，媽媽，小妹，談起發生身上的趣事。也會談起別的讓我感動和溫暖的平凡而卑微的人物和事情，還有我從那裡感受的綿綿的溫情。我們也會談起自己喜歡閱讀的書籍，裡面的人物，那些刻進心扉的睿智或者幽默的發人深省的話語言辭，我們對他（她）的憎惡或者喜愛。更多的時候，我們是在說這我們也不明白的玩笑話語，你故意打擊我，我故意打擊你，那是溫柔的尖刻，刺在身上，並不痛，有一種微微的快感。他（她）會指著一隻可愛的小狗，大喊：“line，過來。”然後揚起挑釁的目光，注視著我。我就無奈而傻傻的笑笑。當然，我也會適時地報復捉弄我的人，給她打電話的時候，她會關切的問我：吃過飯了嗎？我就說：沒有呢，你請我吧！小姑娘總會爽快的答應，儘管她已經吃過飯了。於是，陪著我去吃飯，等我吃罷付錢。這時，我總會找個藉口，在她想起付錢之前，就先把錢付過了；等到她付錢的時候，老闆就矜矜地看著她，讓她很不好意思。

有些朋友說我是個極為細緻的人，一些很瑣碎的事情，我往往“聽者有意”，如果是一些自己力所能及的事情，我都會幫他們完成或者實現，帶給他們心情以為的明媚。一個朋友說，他希望讀到一位韓國作家的新作《燈塔守望者》。我聽了，什麼也沒有說，其實，我的心裡有了一些想法。我知道，我們的同學有這本書，閒置著，我就去幫他借了。第二次遇見他的時候，我喊住他，把他希望讀到的書拿給他，他的眼睛裡滿是喜悅和感動。這個時候，我的內心也流溢著快樂。我有一個在遠方的朋友，很喜歡郭敬明的文字，希望得到一本他的親筆簽售的作品。我意外地得知郭敬明會在三月的中旬來昆明，就默默地為此事籌劃了好久。那天，我早早地到了那家舉行活動的書店；那裡已經聚集了很多的小郭迷了，很擁擠。我雖然不喜歡這樣喧鬧不堪的場面，但是，為了了卻朋友的心願，我還是隱忍了。我一直等到郭敬明出現，在他的fans的吵吵嚷嚷大呼小叫中一步一步走向他。我代朋友近距離地接觸了他，看到了一個很靦腆很禮貌，一直說自己是個聽話的乖孩子的寫字的人。那時，我的心裡充溢著一種虔誠，但是，可以肯定，我是代朋友而虔誠地。我對於所有寫字的人都只有一種平靜和平等的注視，不會以一種低姿態出現，膜拜他（她）。剛好，過了今天，這個朋友來雲南旅遊，她特意來看我，我把這本沾染了她所喜歡的作者的溫馨的氣息和痕蹟的書拿給她，那一刻，她的眼眸亮晶晶的。我能感受到她內心深處汩汩流動的喜悅。我也為之喜悅。

我常常會在一個禮拜固定日子的固定的時間給固定的人打電話，問候他們。我不知道這是不是一個好習慣，我只是一如既往地這樣做。這是我的生活習慣之一。電話裡我總是先問他們忙嗎，一切都好嗎？然後告訴他們我很好，很快樂，我也像他們一樣幸福而充實的忙碌。當然，類似這樣的問候地電話，時間總會限定在三分鐘以內。因為，我知道，朋友們都忙，我不應該佔用他們很長的時間，哪怕我是在善意的問候。只有母親有一兩個朋友例外。和母親只是長久的說及只是自己在這邊生活的情況，虛假的或者真實的喜悅。和那兩個朋友卻不如此。在他們週末或者休假的時候，不是我打電話過去，就是他們打電話過來給我。兩個人雖然隔著幾千里的距離，情意卻能夠穿透時間和空間，在彼此的心里曼延升騰，讓人整個的身體都覺得溫暖，好像沐浴著暖洋洋的陽光，很幸福。我會對他（她）講我又做了那些好笑的事情，又讀到了那些好笑或者不好笑的書籍，笑話；那時，我覺得自己是一個很瑣碎的人。但是，就是這種瑣碎讓兩個人都很開懷，我們都會笑起來，抑制不住，哈哈，哈哈。
　
我就是這樣的，很矛盾，一半的憂傷，一半的明媚。看著我手下流淌出來的文字，即使是那些有些哀哀的味道的，我也會陶醉在幸福里，莫名地笑。

Ralated tags:1.Bracelets2.Shopping Bag

There is an animal named elk in my hometown, also named milus, while speaking of milus with others each time, I have a kind of small pride to overflow and cherish with joy, their exist made my hometown prosper specially. Frequently, I've been thinking, what do I mean to my hometown or to my parents, a hope? a burden? or a milu?

I am a person feeling self-humiliation very much, each time when the class holds the activity and lets us appear on the stage and make a speech, I always feel baffled and tense and uneasy, will forget the speech word that oneself has decided in advance at platform, gaze around, finish one's own speech totteringly, then dart and step down from the stage. Having reached this time each time, repent, accuse and attack like tidewater. I will tell oneself " needn't be repentant once of once! Others are all only people, ordinary person is not any dreadful monsters, you speak loudly, they will neither will laugh at you take you, nor! " But no matter how many times self-suggestion are, I will still be timid while appearing on the stage next time, will feel guilty, will go round and begin again like this, I become a edge person in the class, a person often forgotten by the class.

Mr. Lu Xun has said that does not " break out in silence and die in silence " ,In the university in time flies to pass, I feel I suffocates more and more, it is not that others or society imposed on me that this kind suffocates, but self-suggestion and depression constantly " Crystallization " . I one complicated girl very, I feel self-humiliation very much externally, internal and also very conceited. Lively unusually in the middle of friend, but terribly cold and detached in the middle of stranger. To ignoring the person of me, I will curse in the heart, to the person bestowing small favours to me, but I am out of gratitude, and regard them as the gods. What can I say? Sum up to myself in a word it exactly: Vulgar! The special one is vulgar! Can not find some refined compositions in oneself on one's body, to this society, I see very realistically, so long as others give me enough money, I want except breaking the law, violate the thing of one's own conscience I will do. In other words, that is to say I especially have no principle to do things. Today's thing is always pushed to tomorrow and done, the lesson that can escape will always try hard to escape, the commitment made last minute, I can overthrow by oneself minute, disappointed in even desperate as to this not only oneself, there is my friend. I think I am that pool desperate stagnant water in the works of Mr. Wen Yiduo, can't evoke the ripples at all. University life for four year come silently, go silently, but I find, belong to own things a bit in time for four year these, just walk stepping on forefathers' No. ignorantly 舞蹈 .

I express gratitude to Professor Hu very much, he always dissects social reality for us, tell our university with a kind of tone of laughing at oneself, say we student of school, have lesson of him each time, I can feel ashamed, then make a goal quietly, firmly believe oneself can unquestionably be finished, but has not finished yet for one day, that heavy oath has been thrown beyond the highest heavens in the twinkling of an eye, another kind of abnormal amusement controlled me soon 芭蕾舞

I hate oneself very much really in fact, hate oneself to be disappointing, hate one's own incapability, but no matter how many times does it scold oneself, " I " Still " I " ,One degenerate I gradually, one withered I gradually.

Write here, and then considering my life, my future, I think I am exactly a milu, not that animal under second -level State protection of the hometown, but " milu of life " ,Any does not belong to one's own star light and characteristic. In fact before writing this gently, I have an idea, just suspend schooling to go to the other places to work as a temporary labourer in one year, find out about favor changes in temperature, manners and morals of the time come back reading behind the vicissitudes, I perhaps can want I at that time ripe a lot, perhaps not know more such intense darkness without light in my life 普通話課程.

Remember that there is a word like this, " God, while shutting a door for you, have opened another window for you too " ,I know the door which belonged to me has already been shut, that window is ruined too can't bear, dear readers, can you make a window and illuminate my dim soul for me 畫班 ?

"Ting, helps the mother to bring the umbrella. " At noon on Sunday, having just had a meal, mother said to me while tidying up the dining table. "OK! " As soon as I have answered, I go to the bathroom to take mother's small flower umbrella furniture.

Sunshine chink of branch outside room for summer, stock the high window of the bathroom completely, the one more mottled lets faint scribbling on the pure white ceramic tile very irregularly small and round. I have sought all over in every corner in the bathroom, have not seen an umbrella either. "Mother, there is no umbrella in the bathroom robin
. "

"Oh, forget, tell you whether I wash all umbrella, charge light ins and outs of clothes closet of sitting room upstairs in the dose. " Mother goes out of the kitchen, has wiped water on hand on the apron, then take down aprons. "Going up helps the mother to bring, mother goes to work lately. It should be careful to go to the stair. "

I open the door of lower floor of the clothes closet in the small sitting room, see that arranges the umbrella neatly and cleanly in bottom dose of the cupboard. I take out mother's small flower umbrella, have looked it over for a moment. Several blue and green small flowers have already taken off many colors the faint yellow umbrella. Not so beautiful as my umbrella.

"Mother, give, your old umbrella. " On the desk that I passed the umbrella by mother's body. "It is old of course, still can avoid the windscreen rain. I am still it that like very much. " Mother finishes saying, eat two " cold drugs " any more Capsule, drink water in the cup up at on gulp newsgroup.

"All right, obedient at home. " Mother looks at me kindly and gently, carry the musette bag on the arm with a smile, several steps step out the gate. "Mother, fine day, why take the umbrella? " I ask mother wondering. "It is supposed, there is thunder shower this afternooning of last night. This lets where there is precaution, there is no danger. " Just finish speaking, disappear among the crowds on the road findingmanito.

"The day in summer, the baby's face. " Very good, the weather changes very quickly. It was sunny just now, already been cloudy in an instant, the lightning accompanied by peals of thunder. In the twinkling of an eye, a storm has come. I stand in gate, see beans heavy raindrop bungle step in front of door, pedestrian of Luis all disappear quickly, the torrential rain is under the threatening by force of blast, weave a lot of thick coarse rain curtains obliquly. Mother will come off duty soon, fortunately mother is taking the umbrella, otherwise will drench with rain. Mother's cold has not been good yet. " where there is precaution, there is no danger " It is very good denis
!

Suddenly, one soul come in curtain of tain, does not hold up an umbrella, one small bag at head, Ah, that is mother. "Mum - -"I am shouting loudly heidi0428.

Mother rushes into the door, drench water, the wet picture drenched chicken all over. I run into the bathroom to fetch the dry towel quickly, pass mother. "Where is mother, your umbrella? " Mother takes over the towel, water wiping the face to at once. A wisp of wet long hair is stuck on her pale face closely, mother smoothes out it behind the ear gently with the finger. "Oh, the umbrella Lend Colleague. She Bringing Child. " Mother breathe heavily thick air, say intermittently. Then water trembling on one's body, enter the bathroom loves
.

I have poured a cup of hot water, bring " cold drug " ,Strip down two capsules carefully, put in the palm gently. Mother comes out from the bathroom, comfort my head, sit on my stool around. Say: "Ting is very obedient. " I am busy with passing over cup and water. "Mother, take medicine, take care of your cold. "

I look at mother, the happy smile have been piled on her tired out pale face. I urge her: "Mother, take medicine quickly! " The tears spin in the eye socket under the Central Committee jackson
.

Relative blog: War is Like Love

Milk facial film

Put fresh milk of probably 30ML into the container, soak the paper of facial film. Apply the facial film paper which soaks the milk on the face. Lie on the sofa for 15- 20 minutes. Then take off the paper of following membrane, clean the face with the fresh water.

Function ¦A is whitened. Pay attention to using the fresh milk, can't use milk power.

Facial film of red wine

2 spoons of red wine 20ml, honey, a little mixing of pearl powder, scribble on the face, clean with the warm water about 5 minutes later.

Function ¦A is whitened.

Facial film of bean curd

Mash a bean curd, strain and do the moisture with the gauze. Add honey of 15g flour and 5g, stir evenly, scribble on the face, keep for 20 minutes, wash clean.

Function ¦A can make the skin white and transparent.

Facial film of bitter gourd

Refrigerate the bitter gourd for 15 minutes, then slice, stick it on the face. Wash 15 minutes later.

Function ¦A whitens, moistens skin.

Facial film of black tea

Appropriate amount of 2 soup spoons of black tea, a little of 2 soup spoons of brown sugar, flour, water. Fry black tea and brown sugar with water and boil it for a moment, cool to 37- 40 degrees. Add the flour to mix, scribble on the face, clean 15 minutes later.

Function ¦A makes the skin pale, moist.

Egg facial film

The preparation of this method is longer. Soak the egg in right amount of wine, seal for 28 days, take out. Every night just before going to bed, apply the surface with the egg white.

Function ¦A cares skin, whitens, reduces wrinkle.

Facial film of sponge gourd

The fresh sponge gourd is pressed into a juice, filter, add the spoonful flour, scribble in face 15 minutes - 20 minutes, then wash with the warm water.

Function ¦A keeps the skin delicate, whitens.

Water-melon facial film

Squeeze the juice from the water-melon, add the milk and flour, apply the even whole face, clean 20 minutes later, once -2 times every week.

Function ¦A can make blacker skin white and shrink thicker pore. This law tanned skin result to sunlight is better.

Make the membrane of beautiful flour by oneself superly

Material: First-class pearl powder, Radix Angelicae Dahuricae, hold back in vain, white Radix Aconiti Lateralis Preparata, compositions such as the stiff silkworm,etc. wear into the detailed powder.

Use: Fetch two grams, add the juice of the small cucumber, albumen and milk, a little is adjusted into pastel.

Paint making the facial film by oneself on the face, pay attention to it with lip week near the eyes. Make sure not to talk and laugh while using, after the facial film is done, clean carefully with the warm water. If there are spots that can be used on the face every day, desalinize the result to add very much. If only generally whiten and maintain, once for one week.

This is very gentle traditional Chinese medicine, suitable for any type of skin.

Relative tag:1.去斑2.新娘化妝3.手工藝